International Jet Trash

Oh, TSA… You Continue to Suck

The TSA is dead-set on maintaining its reputation as the most-hated and least-useful agency in the USA. This time, a vigilant (if ill-trained and arguably stupid) TSA agent targeted Amy Strand, a mother of four travelling with a breast-milk pump and empty bottles.

You see where this is going.

The TSA agent had a problem with Amy Strand bringing empty bottles and a cooler aboard the plane. Their use should have been instantly obvious to anyone who knows about the existence of babies, but this clearly excludes the TSA agent in question.

Amy Strand was pulled aside and forced to pump milk from her breasts in the public area of a women’s toilet, even though the empty bottles are permitted aboard in the first place.

Amy Strand made what is perhaps an unavoidable mistake: trying to avoid TSA hassle. Look, when the TSA wants to hassle you, they’ll find a way. When it comes to actually keeping planes safe, well, the TSA is not so hot at that.

TSA later released a statement saying  their agent had acted in error and that he’s “receiving remedial training.” According to their statement, the TSA agent told Strand that ice packs could only be carried on a flight if they were medically necessary, which isn’t true. Strand says that the head of the Hawaii TSA personally apologized to her and that he “seemed very sincere.”

I don’t doubt the TSA’s “sincerity”; only their competence. Now the TSA’s designated punching-bag blog team will spout some bullshit about “keeping the skies safe”, and then the TSA will do absolutely nothing to solve the root problem, and the cycle will continue.

Wouldn’t it be nice if your job allowed you to commit such colossal fuck-ups without any real consequences?

Stinky Seatmate: ‘Someone Has Soiled the Air!’

This travel tale comes to us from Shawna Malvini Redden, who is no stranger to adventures in coach class. I discovered her writing while covering an incident with Southwest Airlines: Shawna was aboard when the fuselage ripped open mid-flight.

However.. can she survive the stinky seatmate? Let’s find out…

“Im sorry, I think Im allergic to your perfume.”

Her eyes bulged and she spat, “Well thats funny because I dont wear perfume.”

Read the whole thing at The Blue Muse.

“Oh my God, it’s raining”? Oh, if only that were rain.

What would you do if a jetliner took a shit on you? For one Long Island couple, this is not a hypothetical question.

The FAA confirmed that an “incident” had taken place as a plane flew over Malverne, NY after taking off from JFK.

“An incident”. Sounds like a euphemism used by parents, no?

“He had spoken to somebody down at either the Port Authority or the FAA and said ‘Yeah, it looks like there was an incident,” he said. “Some lavatory excrement had leaked out.”

Blue ice” is real, but cannot be intentially discharged from a plane midflight. There is no “empty toilets” button in the cockpit. However, to use another poop-euphemism, accidents happen.

1010WINS, via  CBS New York.

Spot-On ‘Do Not Disturb’ Doorhanger

British artist Sarah Baker busted out this to-the-point “Do Not Disturb” sign for the Town Hall Hotel in London. She totally nailed it.

Hang it on your door so the instruction in the slot asks for the room to be made up, and the maid appears neatly dressed in black, with a feather duster. Invert the sign so Do Not Disturb slides down into the slot, and – whoops – kiss me quick-style, the maid’s outfit slides away to reveal satin undies and suspenders. Totally non-PC. Love it.

via Sally Shalams Britain.

Flying First Class: What’s In Those Amenity Kits? Let’s Find Out

Ever wonder how the 1% fly? I’ve snuck into First Class for a pre-flight drink once, but never got to peek inside the amenities kits. Now we can unpack those mysterious first-class amenities bags together, thanks to a photo gallery from Conde Nast Traveler…

In my opinion, the Singapore Airlines kits look the best. Quantas comes in second best. Delta’s looks kind of cheap. Virgin’s, however,  is the most disappointing, judging from these photos.